Babylon Bee
Dad Tears Up A Little As Son Shouts 'I Have The High Ground!' During Lightsaber Duel
MISHICOT, WA — According to sources, local dad Allan Paxton found himself tearing up a little after ...View More
Trump And Biden To Debate Again In Clear Sign Of God's Judgment On America
U.S. — Donald Trump and Joe Biden have agreed to debate once again, confirming what many theologians ...View More
Donald Trump's 7 Debate Demands Revealed
Details were still being ironed out, but it was confirmed yesterday that the world could now look fo ...View More
Man Still Waiting For Puzzle-Solving Skills He Developed Playing 'Myst' To Become Useful
LINCOLN, NE — As he neared middle age, a local man found himself still waiting for the puzzle-solvin ...View More
Sports Illustrated Goes Bankrupt Trying To Provide Enough Catering For Cover Model Shoot
U.S. — Sports Illustrated has declared bankruptcy after trying to provide enough catering for their ...View More
'Harrison Butker Does Not Reflect Our Values,' Says League Of Woman Beaters
NEW YORK, NY — In response to an angry outcry from feminists regarding statements he made in a comme ...View More
Pro-Lifer Released From Prison After Saying She Was Blocking Abortion Clinic For Palestine
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a dramatic turn of events, pro-life activist Lauren Handy was released from pr ...View More
Nancy Pelosi Begins Dressing As Hobo After Learning San Francisco Giving Vodka Shots To Homeless
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Bay Area residents were doing double-takes today, as Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi ...View More
'Let's Get Drunk And Hurl Razor-Sharp Winged Needles Across The Bar,' Says Man In Historic Stroke Of Genius
LONDON — While contemplating the best way to pass their time at the tavern, a group of local men beg ...View More
With Tithing Down, Pastor Announces Today's Sermon Is Brought To You By Dave's Auto Body Repair Shop
MALVERN, PA — Pastor James Tanner announced this morning at church that tithes were down at Malvern ...View More
Dublin Opens Portal To Hell — Oh, Wait, It's Just New York
DUBLIN — Horrified onlookers were left stunned and disgusted while peering through what they believe ...View More
Local Hero Prevents Red Lobster From Closing Down By Continuing To Order Endless Shrimp
JEFFERSON CITY, MO — After making national headlines with its headquarters announcing that it was cl ...View More
'Hang On, Let Me Check The Distance With My Rangefinder,' Says Guy About To Duff Ball 6 Inches
SCOTTSDALE, AZ — As dozens of avid golfers enjoyed a beautiful day on courses throughout the area, o ...View More
Exercise And 10 Other Dangerous Far-Right Health Conspiracies
Brought to you by: BIOMDo you stay active to maintain your physical fitness? If so, it's a foregone ...View More
White House Installs Breathalyzer On Kamala Harris’s Microphone
WASHINGTON, D.C. — To avoid further embarrassment from bewildering and offensive speeches, White Hou ...View More
Bud Light Announces Genius Comeback Plan To Wait Until Everyone Who Hates Them Dies Of Old Age
ST. LOUIS, MO — Marketing executives for Anheuser-Busch have announced a comeback plan for their str ...View More
In Crazy New Video, MrBeast Blows Up The Sun With Over 400 Nuclear Missiles
U.S. — A brand new video released by popular YouTuber MrBeast shows him firing 400 nuclear missiles ...View More
In Crazy New Video, MrBeast Blows Up The Sun With Over 400 Nuclear Missiles
U.S. — A brand new video released by popular YouTuber MrBeast shows him firing 400 nuclear missiles ...View More
9 Troubling Signs Your Wife Is An Undercover FBI Agent
Everyone is on the lookout for the feds these days, but have you ever considered the possibility tha ...View More
9 Troubling Signs Your Wife Is An Undercover FBI Agent
Everyone is on the lookout for the feds these days, but have you ever considered the possibility tha ...View More
Study Finds 100% Of Men Cooking On Grill Just Kinda Moving Meat Around And Hoping For The Best
WACO, TX — With summer barbecue season about to heat up, a new study has found that a remarkable 100 ...View More
Study Finds 100% Of Men Cooking On Grill Just Kinda Moving Meat Around And Hoping For The Best
WACO, TX — With summer barbecue season about to heat up, a new study has found that a remarkable 100 ...View More
New York Builds Separate Massive Courthouse Just For Prosecuting Trump
NEW YORK, NY — With his case against Trump beginning to crumble, DA Alvin Bragg has announced severa ...View More
College Students Announce Indefinite Hunger Strike For Palestine Between 10 AM And Noon And Also Between 1 PM and 5 PM Every Day Except For Some Light Snacking
U.S. — College Students protesting Israel announced an indefinite hunger strike on Monday, which the ...View More
College Students Announce Indefinite Hunger Strike For Palestine Between 10 AM And Noon And Also Between 1 PM and 5 PM Every Day Except For Some Light Snacking
U.S. — College Students protesting Israel announced an indefinite hunger strike on Monday, which the ...View More
College Students Announce Indefinite Hunger Strike For Palestine Between 10 AM And Noon And Also Between 1 PM and 5 PM Every Day Except For Some Light Snacking
U.S. — College Students protesting Israel announced an indefinite hunger strike on Monday, which the ...View More
College Students Announce Indefinite Hunger Strike For Palestine Between 10 AM And Noon And Also Between 1 PM and 5 PM Every Day Except For Some Light Snacking
U.S. — College Students protesting Israel announced an indefinite hunger strike on Monday, which the ...View More
College Students Announce Indefinite Hunger Strike For Palestine Between 10 AM And Noon And Also Between 1 PM and 5 PM Every Day Except For Some Light Snacking
U.S. — College Students protesting Israel announced an indefinite hunger strike on Monday, which the ...View More
